1 Month?!?

      How can it be that my sweet baby is already 1 month old?! March has come and gone like a whirlwind and it has been a lovely adventure for sure. Buirlen is chubbing out and is the most cuddly little guy. He has an amazing fluff of blond hair and though I know it is still early and anything could happen, his eyes are definitely looking blue. He seems to quite enjoy tubby time and head massages are always welcome too. He has also decided that his binky is a nice accessory to have around, and he is just plain adorable!

    I'm starting to realize that being a mom is going to be a great lesson in trust. When I was pregnant I remember thinking that it would be easier and I wouldn't worry so much once he was born. Well that certainly isn't the case and so my journey of trust continues. Learning to trust my life, and now my sweet boy's life, to The One who designed us both. 

    Really, Burilen is the perfect example of what I should be doing in my walk of faith--completely relying on someone bigger than himself. This tiny human being has a better handle on faith than I do and so I learn from him. 

  

Oh my heart!

He has the Shearer one eyebrow raise down pat. 

Happy Tuesday. 

"Faith is all about believing. You don't know how it will happen, but you know it will." ~Unknown

   

Beyond My Understanding

      The other day I was thinking about what the Bible has to say about my own understanding of things. It's not very reliable at all. I often have to remind myself of the wisdom of Proverbs 3:5-6
           "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean NOT on your own understanding. But in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
      Trust in the LORD, not yourself. All to often I find myself leaning back on what I think I know or what I feel, but that proves to be a very shaky support system. Our own understanding is wobbly and unstable and all to often, when we lean on it we find ourselves toppling over backwards. We need to lean back on God.
    Then it says in Provers 28:25b-26
"But the one who trusts in the LORD will be enriched. Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
    Here again, it points out the uselessness of "my own understanding." According to this verse, I've found myself to be a fool more often than not. I trust what I think I know, I trust what I feel, but for some reason, it can be so hard to trust in the LORD. But when we do, we come to a place of safety.
    But the Bible doesn't just talk about the uselessness of our own understanding. It also talks about how God's peace and love is so far beyond what our minds can comprehend.
       Ephesians 3:17-19
"So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and the length and height and depth, and to know the love Christ which surpassed knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God."
     The love of The One who created this life "surpasses knowledge." His love is so big, we can't comprehend it. It's beyond our understanding. Which is good, because if God only loved me as much as I could understand, than I wouldn't be very loved.
     But there's more. God's in the business of blowing our minds and showing us things that are beyond our wildest imaginations. And not just in how much He loves us, but in the peace He floods our souls with.
    Philippians 4:6-7
"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything with prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
    The peace of God is beyond our comprehension. And that peace is our safe place. It "will guard your heart and your mind," if you let it.
     If you let God's big love wash over you, and His incomprehensible peace guard your mind you will be in a good place. Because, if you rest in His love and peace you won't be leaning on yourself.
     So today, may you give up trying to understand and simply trust, resting in the love and peace and joy of One who is so much bigger than you.

The Life Vest

      The girl stood on the rolling deck as the storm raged around her. The rain came hard and fast, the waves rolled into mountains and the lightning streaked across the sky. Suddenly, she was thrown overboard. She frantically started searching for something to grab hold of and managed to find the anchor chain. She thought to herself that if she could just hold on, then she could make it through. However, what she didn't think about as the storm raged on was that anchor was only pulling her down. She was wearing a life vest, but she couldn't get it out of her mind that she needed to hold onto the anchor.
      I was thinking the other day about how all to often we find ourselves holding onto an anchor, a weight that is only pulling us down.  I find myself holding onto some fear or thought that does nothing more than hold me in one spot and drag me under. I feel like I have to hold on or I will drown. But the ridiculous thing about the situation is that I am wearing a life jacket, and if I would just let go of the anchor, I would float to the surface and be able to take a breath.
     The anchor is my desire to control and understand things. I get some fear in my head and then I think and think and think about it because I have it in my mind that I need to understand it and then it will go away. Or I think and think about it because I feel a need to be in control of it. But fear and worry aren't rational and they can't be controlled, so this only leads to sinking, and gasping for breath as the weight of the anchor pulls me down.
       The life jacket is trusting in the One who holds my life in His hand. I need to realize that the way out of my struggle is not figuring the problem out, or beating it into submission, it is simply letting it go and allowing the life jacket of faith and trust in Jesus take me to the surface.
      It says in Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
       I like this verse and use it a lot. It points out that Trusting in the LORD means that I don't actually need to understand or be able to control the situation, I just have to trust Him.
       Holding onto the anchor is only going to keep you in one spot, and it may even drown you. But because of Jesus we have a life vest and as soon as you get the guts to let go of the anchor you will find yourself floating up to a breath of air. The trick is to not grab the anchor again. I'm pretty good at that. I let go, get a breath, and think to myself, "Oh this is nice." But my brain is a creature of habit and it tends to want to go back to what it's used too. As the storm rages you might find yourself wanting to stay by the sinking ship, but it's ok. The life vest is fool proof. You just have to lean back into it and let it hold you up.

Happy Saturday.


“You must learn to let go. Release the stress. You were never in control anyway.” ~Steve Maraboli
     

Control

        Have you ever felt in control or out of control or like you just can't quite figure out what's going on? I've been thinking about control lately because I realize that I am a control freak. This realization has been slowly settling in my mind, but truly hit home yesterday when I had to call into work sick. I agonized over the decision, thinking "But maybe I'm not really that sick? or what if I'm just being pathetic and don't want to go to work today?" Until my husband finally got through to me and told me to call my boss and go back to sleep. As I was laying there I began to realize that this early morning drama stemmed from my need to be in control. By calling in sick, I was, in a way, letting go of some of my control.
       As I have thought about this, I have come to understand that many of the things that I worry about stem from my deep seated need for control. I worry that I have to continually do things to "Make God happy with me." I often fear that if I make one wrong step God is going to remove His love and grace from me. I think to myself that I have to "cross my T's and dot my i's" I'll be doing okay.  I also see this need for control coming out in the form of OCD. For example,  I feel the pressing need to check and make sure I turned all the lights off not once but two or three times. I check and re-check things because in some way I think my mind believes that I am then in control.
        Someone once told me that by striving to take control and have the upper hand, I am ignoring God's gift of grace. And, it has occurred to me that that is what I'm trying to do. But, His grace came because we can't do it.  He so wants me and you to lay down our need for control, to simply hand it over and allow Him to have complete control. This seems kind of scary to a control freak like myself. But I don't think that I will be able to fully and completely walk in the joy of His grace until I've stopped trying to do it myself. So, my challenge to you today is to recognize that He came so we won't have to worry about the controls anymore and to lay back and enjoy the ride. Have a great Saturday.

"But You say let it go, You say let it go
You say life is waiting for the one to lose control
You say you will be, everything I need
You said if I lose my life it's then I'll find my soul
You say let it go."~Tenth Avenue North  


"It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized."  ~Wayne Dyer

 
        
     

The Choice

        I have found that the early moments in the morning, right when I'm first waking up, are the ones that fears often like to invade. So often, I open my eyes and am suddenly hit with a deluge of worry, fear or anxiety. I have come to realize that this happens because if the fears can get me down at the very beginning of the day, I'm pretty much down for the whole day. This can be very annoying and frustrating.
         Then, the other day, I woke up and the words of Joshua 24: 15 floated through my head. They say, "Choose this day whom you will serve..." And it occurred to me. Every single morning I need to wake up and make a choice, I can either choose to serve the God who loves me by trusting in Him regardless of how I feel, or I can choose to allow fear to have a grip in my life and drag me down with every passing day.
        And so, I have been trying this over the past couple of days. Fear has still tried to find a footing, but I am trying harder to consistently make the choice. And you know what, as I have been making a more conscious effort, I have been able to step back a little and see things from a different angle. Also, I have found that when I make the choice I feel more peace and closer to Jesus. Because, when I stop trying to make things right by myself, I allow God to step in and do what He does best.
         So, my challenge to you is that you would wake up every morning and consciously make the choice. Choose to trust in the One who loves you more than you will ever know. Choose to rest in His grace. Choose to not allow fear and worry to be a part of your life. Choose to live.

Joshua 24:15
"Choose this day whom you will serve...But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."

“A man is happy so long as he chooses to be happy and nothing can stop him.” 
~Alexander Sozenitsyn



“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” ~Flora Whittemore 

The Prairie

       My Grandpa is a prairie man. What I mean by this is that he has literally planted several prairies around on his property. He spends hours out collecting wild seeds that he finds on his country drives. Now technically it takes about a 100 years for a prairie to truly be considered a prairie. But that is besides the point. I was thinking about these prairies the other day. They are so beautiful, offering up a blaze of colors every summer. They are wild and untamed and free.
        But sometimes, prairie fires happen. They rip their way through the tall grasses, bringing the once beautiful landscape to a chard mess. At first, this seems devastating, the beauty is gone and everything seems dead. But guess what, that fire is actually a good thing. It makes way for the prairie to grow back even stronger.
       It occurred to me that life is sometimes like this, we go along and everything seems beautiful and perfect and then suddenly, out of the blue, trouble strikes. These experiences often leave us feeling hopeless and abandoned. Why did it happen? why is the beauty gone? why am I left in a pile of burning ashes? And that is when the One who desires for use to be all that we can be gently whispers in our ear, "just wait, allow Me to grow you back, stronger than ever."
       Bad things do happen in life, but if we can't allow them to destroy us. Trust in the One who gave you life, lean on Him, and with His help, know that you will grow back. Be it depression, fear, financial troubles, lost loved ones etc. I encourage you to just hold on. There is beauty ahead. Even if it would seem as though all hope is lost, it's not. There is always hope for tomorrow. Allow yourself to come back stronger than ever and be ready for a new adventure.

"Healing does not mean going back to the way things were before, but rather allowing what is now to move us closer to God." ~Ram Dass

The Journey

     Have you ever read those verses in James that talk about being joyful in hard times because in the end they will make you stronger and build character. Well I have, and I always thought that if that was the case then I didn't really want any more character. But something has been stirring in my heart the past couple of weeks and I'm learning something.
    All of my life, I have been a worrier. From the little things to the life changing moments, I have allowed worry and fear to play a role in every aspect of my life. And sadly, I allowed fear to cloud my perception of God and how He sees me. The past months I have been going through some very hard times. Call it fear, call it depression, call it a lack of trust. Whatever you call it, it has been taking me apart and invading my life. And through it, there have been times when I have felt like God has deserted me. I've begged God to take it away and time and again He's asked me to trust Him. And I start to cry and say,"God I'll trust You, if You make me feel better. I'll trust You, if you make Yourself more clear to me. I'll trust You, if you come stand in front of me and talk to me in person." But I've been learning that that is not trust. Trusting means believing even if the lies and fear feel so very real. Trusting means knowing that God is right there beside me, even if it feels like He is miles away. Trusting means not always knowing it or feeling it, but believing regardless.
    God has asked me to trust Him on a couple of things and when I haven't, I've begun to spiral down into fear. Through these months, I've asked why this is happening to me. And finally, something has been occurring to me. I could have gone on the way I always have been. Allowing little fears and worries to have control. I could have gone on knowing God and loving Him but always having a slight fear that He was mad or that I just didn't measure up, and I would have survived. But you know what, God didn't create us--you and me--to just merely survive. He created us to thrive in Him. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He loves us and delights in us.
     And I truly believe, that If I can learn the lesson of trust and deeply root it in my heart, that I will get through this time and that things will be forever different. Maybe, just maybe God is using this time in my life to shake me up and teach me something beyond my wildest dreams. I'm tired of settling and I'm tired of fear. And as I've been going through these hard times the words of James are slowly becoming more clear to me. God is for me, and God is going to bring me through stronger than ever. And you know what, whatever your story is, He's got big plans for you too. Trust in Him.

James 1:2-4
"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." ~Richard Bach

The Puzzle

Do you ever feel like you are walking around carrying a huge box of jumbled up puzzle pieces. You look into the box at the thousands and thousands of pieces and your heart drops. The box feels so heavy and you have simply no idea how to put the pieces together to make a whole. Sometimes you may try to put a piece or two together, and sometimes you just feel like giving up as you shake the box. I have been feeling like that a lot lately, and slowly slowly, the answer is occurring to me. I will never be able to put the puzzle together. Not on my own. It is a task simply too great for me. But just when the discouragement sets in, hope appears. Hope is a funny thing, because it is always there, it never leaves. Whether we realize it or not, hope is alive. Hope...His name is Jesus. He is sitting there with a heart that is aching for us. He knows that the only way for us to succeed is for us to give the pieces to Him. It's funny how the simplest things can sometimes be the hardest. Why do we struggle so to hand Him the pieces, they are just frustrating us, but still we have a desire to hold onto them. And yet, all we have to do is hand them to Him and with careful and patient hands, He snaps each and everyone into its place, and suddenly the picture emerges. And when we hand Him the pieces, the messed up jumbled things of life, He smiles and hands us His peace. So my challenge to myself and you is to hand Him the pieces and allow the Hope of the World to bring Peace to your life. And then dance in it.

"Life is God’s novel. Let him write it." --Issac Bashevis Singer


 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
      - Isaiah 40:29-31

Stuck

Sometimes life is funny. Have you ever had one of those moments when it just seems so absolutely ridiculous and yet all you can do is laugh about it. Today was one of those moments. I was babysitting my younger siblings this weekend and one of them managed to get wedged under the bed. He crawled under there, put his feet up and managed to get good and stuck. It took a bit of calming down and maneuvering before we managed to get him out of there, and hopefully he has learned the valuable lesson of not crawling into tight spaces. I think that life is like that sometimes. We occasionally find ourselves wedged into a tough spot and we wonder how in the world we will ever get out. And often during those times we start to panic because we are afraid that we won't be able to get out. And yet, God is always there ready to pull us out of whatever mess we have gotten ourselves into. What we need to realize, is that we need to calm down and relax and allow God to help us through. Because when we start to panic we simply get ourselves wedged in tighter. So, take a deep breath, calm down and let God pull you through. And if you can, laugh and laugh hard about it. Because laughter is truly the best medicine of all.

"When you come to the end of your rope, make a knot and hang on." --Unknown

Motorcycle Rides

Today I rode home on the back of a motorcycle. And I must admit It was pretty fun. There is something nice about speeding along on a beautiful day watching the world fly by in a rush of colors. As I was enjoying the world around me, I started thinking. I realized that I felt completely comfortable speeding along in the open air at highway speeds because I knew that my Dad was driving and that he knew exactly what he was doing. If I didn't trust the driver, the ride would suddenly go from being fun and relaxing to terrifying. But I knew my Dad was in control and that he would keep me safe. I realized then that a motorcycle ride is a lot like life. We speed through this life and at times it may be scary or feel unstable, but I know that the Heavenly Father is driving and He knows what He is doing. If I stop trusting Him, I will be unable to enjoy the ride because I will be so worried that He doesn't have my best interests in mind or that maybe, just maybe, He doesn't really know what He is doing. But you know what, God made the ride and He knows how best to navigate through the twisting roads of life. So, instead of worrying about every turn, sit back, relax, watch the colors fly by and know that your driver has it all under control.

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." --Helen Keller